practical and meaningful

the holidays knock the wind out of me

From Halloween to New Years, I fumble around in a state of hecticness that literally knocks the wind out of me. This year is especially challenging and I cannot quite get my bearings to enjoy any of it.

The end of the year means more to do and less time to do it  I am buried with tax responsibilties, three businesses to run, holidays to celebrate, a family to make memories with, paperwork, employees to thank, clutter to clear, and life to live.

I hope to take a moment to acknowledge and appreciate all the forward movement in my life, be grateful I do have so much going on, appreciate my amazing family and friends, and achieve a little rest and relaxation this holiday season. Wishing the same for you and yours! xo

 

 

identify your bliss and make that your life's work

Ask yourself these questions. What motivates me? What am I good at? What is important. What gives my life meaning?

My list is varied but you can see parts of it shining through every thing I do.

Building things. Shaping people's experiences. Providing jobs. Feeding people. Knowing. Working hard. Loving hard. Organization. Seeking. Documenting. Sampling. Doing good. Creating spaces. Encouraging others. Standing back. Family. Details.  Friends. Meeting people. Making a difference. Believing. Soul work. No regrets. For the long haul.

Identify your bliss and make that your life's work.

live from true choice, not habit

My new favorite band is the Civil Wars...my husband and daughter played me one song and I immediately fell in love.  Have not stopped listening to them. In my car, while i work, while i work out, on my computer....cannot get enough.  There is one line that says " I don't have a choice, but I still choose you" and everytime I hear it, my heart swells. It is profound and it is dear.  We get used to the things we do, the people we love, and the life we live.  Habit can kill the romance. Choose who you are, who you love, what you do, and why you exist. Live from true choice.

practice

When you practice anything, you get better at it.

Put in the time to be a better cook, a better friend, a better lover, a better person, a better writer, a better parent, a better boss, a better communicator, a better example. Practice, it is personal.

middle aged...how did that happen?

I was basically a kid (25 years old) when I met my husband. I was living in  a loft in downtown los angeles - pushing my steel bathtub down the hall to the community bathroom, traveling the world taking photos, and making plans for how I wanted my life to play out. I spent days in the dark room, hours gardening on the roof, and money on things such as sunday night dinner parties on the roof.

Almost twenty years has passed and I am in awe of how life has played out and how fast the time has flown. We were laughing the other day because I suddenly realized I am no longer a kid and that we are middle aged....how did that happen?  We have built houses and responsibility and college funds and retirement funds, we own businesses, our daughter is a tween and i still feel exactly the same in my heart as I did when I was 25.  I feel the years on my body and I mark the years in my body of work, my heart carries the weight of life, but my spirit still feels 25.

 

an open letter to my tween daughter

Since you were little,  you have had a strong sense of self. You knew who you were. I love this about you. You are kind, open, loving, and talented.
I love to hear you sing. From pink piggy tails to charlie brown kite song to Adele -  hearing you sing is one of my greatest joys. You have a great ear and you feel the music. Each song fills me with happiness.
I know sometimes you tire of me photographing your every move but I am a photojournalist and using my camera is one way I communicate.  Documenting you has been a pleasure. Your spirit eeks thru every photo, your eyes dance. Capturing your spirit reinforces my belief in life force. I will always be taking pictures of you and your friends - so do not protest. I promise I will share them with you and you can post them on instagram.
It warms my heart when you tell your friends I am a great cook. Thanks for eating my food and for feeding my soul.
I am sorry that work takes up so much of my time. As an entrepreneur I often have to give more time than a regular job. But it also means I have more control of the overall life I lead. When you were young, I built my company and raised you side by side. I'd work all day until I picked you up from school - then from 3-8 PM I was your Mom. After I put you to bed, I'd often work til midnight finishing up my work. It was not always easy, but I would not trade it for anything. Getting to be with you every day and pick you up at the bus stop, doing homework, making dinner. If I had a regular job, those tasks would have been parceled off to a babysitter.
I admire your grit. You also have so much grace. Ease with your body, spirit and self. I love watching this in school, on stage, when you dance, when you sing.  Your grace calms and inspires me.
I admire your self control. You have always had a good sense of healthy food and make great choices every day. You also understand your need for sleep and take responsibility for your healthy sleep habits. I will never forget when Stasi's Dad told me that in the middle of a movie at a sleepover, you got up and and said you were tired and went to bed. Always take care of yourself. Take sleep when you need it. Feed yourself. Keep your basic needs in check and there is no limit to what you will achieve in this lifetime.
I am so proud of the fact that you share easily. You love your stuff and have no problem giving it to someone else who may want it. This will help you tremedously in life. Sharing is a hard lesson and you already act with such grace in your sharing. You will make a great partner and a great parent because you know how to share.
Be BRAVE. I love that ever since you were little, you are willing to go outside your comfort zone and do things, In trapeze you were at the front of the line, wanting to go first. You encourage others to be brave. When a fellow trapezer (a 20 something woman)  was unsure, you imparted your experience and wisdom - relaying to her that she could climb the ladder and make the leap. I hope that you will continue to try new things and be first in line always.
I know you will travel far and wide and that your instinct and intuition will keep you safe and sound. I worry about the world, but I know. I know that with Daddy and me as your parents,  you will travel- so I will be brave when you do and I ask that you do whatever you can to be safe and sound.
Be a good friend. Try not to gossip about anyone. Be a good friend to boys. Know that they are experiencing the same blast of hormones (x100) and that they can be sensitive and need a friend too.
Keep your self in tact and do not let anyone violate your self or your body in any way that you are umcomfortable with. If you are unsure, do not act.
PROMISE ME, you will not do anything you don't want just because other are doing it. Promise me that you will not compromise what you stand for or who you are. Not for a boy, a friend, a teacher, a stranger, or for us.
We love who you are .

Enjoy this time in your life. I am so very proud of you. I love being your Mom and I am so excited to watch you continue to evolve.  You are spectacular and I love you.

My year alone...New York City 1991

Found this in an old journal about my first year after college when I moved to New York City.

MY YEAR ALONE

Breaking into the work world is trying. Moving to a new city is hard. Leaving friends across the country is lonely. Now try doing all of these at once. New York is not exactly the kindest of cities. It is selfish, and hard, and insulting - but wonderful as well. It is true what they say about the energy here. Anyone can feel it. It captivates you.

On a schedule. My commitment to work. Not torn between a million people and activities. I live alone. Not just my own room - but my own apartment, on my owns street, in my own neighborhood. No one I know for miles...literally.  I have the greatest fireplace and loft bed and wood floors. High ceilings too. Since the leaves fell from the trees I can see the statue of liberty from my living room window.

A real quiet life I lead.  I Listen to music, work, write, try to play the guitar, cook, read, and I actually sleep sometimes.  After graduation I was blessed with five months of freedom and time. It was during this time that I worked hard on my writing, learned to knit, read a lot, and made decisions as to the course my life would take upon returning to the United States. I narrowed my options to the Peace Corps - or New York City. Quite opposite ends of the spectrum actually . But to have whisked myself off the the corps - I would have been expecting it to mold me - give me purpose - and extend my life as a traveller.

I needed something to make me learn. Force me to look inside, to look around and try to deduct some meaning in this world. I wanted to be a part of the work reality. So I came to New York. To learn about life and my limits and business. Amidst the concrete -lives every level of human existence. Poverty. Wealth. And so many struggling young people.  And I live here.

Walking over the Brooklyn Bridge with Kim and Chrissy - friends from Burbank who came to visit.

Me and Nancy on the roof of my apartment in Brooklyn Heights.

award speeches

The BEST speeches are the ones that SAY SOMETHING meaningful. When you win a big award, we know you have to thank the people (agent, manager, producter ,husband, kids) who helped you achieve the award - but on a televised awards show, the acceptance speeches should be based in something great to say.

I propose that each nominee submits a list of thank yous -and once the winner is announced - their list is projected on the screen behind them and posted on a website.  Let the winners have the time to say something important, speak from the heart and enjoy the moment - rather than wonder about who they are forgetting to thank, and outrunning the closing music.

Let the speeches be about something meaningful which also happens to be practical.

gift it forward and other meaningful presents

My favorite kind of gift exchange is where each person brings a gift that is practical or meaningful - it can be something you love (your favorite thing - a book, a candle) , a GIFT IT FORWARD gift - something you own (that you love) that you want to pass on (not a white elephant gift), or you can make something. Anything practical or meaningful.

Affirmations

When I love everything around me, I am constantly inspired.
When I have money in the bank, I am more able to think, feel, and live life.
When I invite people into my home, I am more connected and loving in the world.
When I am taking care of myself and eating right and exercizing, I have more to give.
Creating jobs and making money connects me to my community and my purpose.
Appreciate your life, find meaning in everything you do.
Eliminate what does not support your true self.
Love your life, work hard, play hard, be AWAKE.

painting by Adele Sypesteyn